Stuff is Just Stuff

Yesterday I received an email update from my sweet friend Sara Trappman Willetts who is unsure if her shipment from China has been affected by an explosion there. Her concern at possibly loosing everything brought back a flood of memories about a trial I once went through. I'm sharing my reply to her because it was such a huge growing experience for me:

Thanks for the update. I remember when Nathan and I were separated and how our shipment still hadn't arrived when I left Spain... I feel your angst right now because ultimately I lost all of my worldly possessions in my divorce. I had many touching experiences along the way that helped me deal with that loss. This summer the kids went to their dad's house for the first time. He was about to move and allowed them to bring home quite a few items that I haven't seen in 7 years. It was fun to take a look at their tiny baby shoes and room decorations for a second, but then they left them all in a pile on my floor and ran off to be kids. With school starting this last week I haven't had time to do anything and have found myself bothered by this pile of things on the floor. Tripping over it... Trying to decide where to store it... In the end I scooped it all up and stuck it in a box in the back of a closest. The clothes no longer fit, the decorations are out of style, and the toys are too juvenile. The Julie 7 years ago though for sure she would want those things down the road and definitely shed a few tears at the thought of never seeing any of her worldly possessions again. Julie today sees them as just more things she needs to find a place to store.

When my grandpa passed away his kids fought over his "stuff" to the point that many siblings didn't speak to one another for several years. When my grandpa on the other side passed away I remember someone saying "stuff is just stuff." For some reason that stuck with me. It came to my mind several times throughout the divorce as I was trying to decide which battles were worth fighting. I had to keep reminding myself that the most important things in my life call me Mommy.

As your message has caused me to reflect on this I think about all the fun I had redecorating my house. I saved my little pennies and bought one new item a month until my house was a home. It's adorable now. Sara, you should see my bedroom! It's dreamy! I wanted to take a picture to send to you but realized my cute little Ryan snuck into my bed last night and I don't want to wake him up. I'm reminded again that he and Gracie means way more to me than anything. 

If your worst fears are realized and you never see your things again, please know you have a shoulder to cry on. I totally feel your pain right now. Hopefully the perspective of a dear friend can help you through it. 

Love you so much Sara! 

PS- One time Nathan brought me the ONE precious item I had been begging and begging him for. Guess what it was?!? My Tia Sara shelf!!! My lone surviving memory from Chile. If your things never show up I'll come to Seoul and give it to you. I will pass my happy Chilean memories on to you. LOVE YOU!!!